Let’s discuss why upgrading the quality of your questions can be so useful in your relationships and your life.
Statements are good. They tell you where you are. In your thinking, in your mood, or your actual physical location.
Statements like:
I am happy, I am frustrated, I don’t like this. This doesn’t feel good. This is awesome. This is how I am feeling right now. All of these statements give us valuable information.
Good to know.
Questions, however can tell us where we are going if we let them. Questions can move us forward or hold us back.
Whenever you find something in your life or your relationships that isn’t working, it’s time to look at the questions you are asking and start upgrading the quality of your questions.
Example –
Why is life so hard?
Why does this keep happening to me?
These are NOT USEFUL QUESTIONS.
Although Why? can be a super powerful question when used at the right time and can help us gain clarity and understanding, it can also hold us back, if we never take a moment to step back and think about what we want moving forward.
Usually moving forward requires a why?
Why does this excite me?
Why am I in this ?
However, once we have our WHY, the very best thing we can do is move on to HOW?
How can I make this better? (for myself, for my partner, for my team, for my family)
How can I make this easier?
How can get I get from where I am right now to what I have been dreaming of?
All of these HOW questions are like power rocket boosters, propelling us forward instead of holding us in the place we currently are.
Which is why I love the power of a great question.
Here are my five favorite power questions:
- What would do now?
- What would my highest and best self do in this situation?
- How? (and every variation of How, especially instead of Why)
- What am I making this mean?
- What do I want instead?
I turn to these questions over and over again whenever I need a little power boost.
