Over the last year I have become completely obsessed with the TV show Arrow on the CW. I joke around telling people I am 42 going on 14. It’s okay, 14 is soooo much better this time around!
One of my favorite characters on the show is the Tech Genius, Felicity Smoak. I love Oliver Queen, John Diggle, and their whole super hero family – even the enemies are fun!
But Felicity is often the voice of reason along with the comic relief and so of course, although the only thing we have in common is that we both love lipstick, she reminds me of me.
Or at least I fantasize that she does.
Anyway, my husband watches the show with me and we both love the plots, the actors and all the adventures they have. My hubby is a huge graphic novel – sci–fi–super hero fan, so it’s awesome to share something like this together.
Especially when I am the more passionate Super Fan than he is!
Last October during the Season premiere Felicity said a line that stuck with me all year long.
I heard it and thought – I need to write about this, so here I am, in my best “better later than never” mode to tell you, you can learn a lot from a little show on TV.
The line that stuck with me was said when, Felicity and Oliver, the main couple of the show, were talking about their future and Oliver being the over-protective super hero type, was telling Felicity (aka, the woman he knows is the love of his life) that he might never be able to have a normal life with her.
She replies, then “stop dangling maybes.”
When I heard that phrase it just made me stop and think about where in my own life, I dangle some maybes around things and never actually say YES or NO and experience the closure of the situation.
For years I said – I want to exercise more.
I didn’t *actually* exercise more. I just wanted to.
For years I said – It would be fun to cook together with my husband.
I didn’t sign up for a cooking class. I didn’t experiment with recipes. I do help him in the kitchen (he is a really great cook!) but I never did anything *on my own* to make that happen.
For years I said – it would be awesome to own my own business, do my own thing and leave corporate world behind.
I said that during my 45 minute commute into corporate world every day.
And then one day less than 2 months ago, I took a page out of my favorite super-heroine’s notebook (Thank you Felicity Smoak!) and threw my maybes to the curb.
I found out the schedule at my local yoga studio and have been going twice a week for the last 3 weeks.
I signed the hubby and me up for Blue Apron (a service that sends you pre-measured ingredients and recipes so all you have to do is cook them)– which is fabulous. There will be a post about them soon!
Now we cook together regularly and as a novice cook I ventured on my own one night that the Hubster was working late and made Split Pea Soup.
By myself.
I swear it’s like I ran a 4 minute mile or travelled to the moon. It really is the little things in life that can be the most delicious!
And finally, I lovingly said good bye to a wonderful job that I loved to say hello to the future I always envisioned for myself. It was scary, exciting, I cried, I hugged.
And as I ended that chapter in my life I realized even more so, how powerful it is to “stop dangling maybes.” And finally go for your love, your dream, or sometimes just your soup.
Tiny dreams and big dreams all wrap together to form the fabric of our lives.
Sometimes it really isn’t the best moment to pursue the huge ones.
It took Oliver a whole season to realize he wanted to be with Felicity and he would need to figure out the rest one day at a time.
Sometimes it takes us years to exchange a “maybe” for a “no thank you” or a “yes! I would be delighted!”
I believe there is no perfect time, only the time it takes us to have enough courage to take the tiny steps that can lead to big leaps.
I believe you can learn from anyone, whether it’s a PhD professor or a TV show about super heroes.
And from now on, I will use Felicity’s wise words to remind me that whenever I stop dangling those maybes and give clear yeses and clear no’s that’s when the magic can happen. That’s when the love grows deeper and the adventures get wilder.
I will also remember that like Felicity, I don’t have super powers and I might not be able to aim arrows to shoot super bad guys, but I can absolutely be the hero of my own life.
And I can challenge those around me to be better. To make choices. And to grow.
So here is my superhero challenge for you today:
- Take a minute and think about your day to day life.
- Is there somewhere where you are “dangling a maybe?”
- Where a clear yes or a clear no will bring about something you have always wanted?
- Or end something that isn’t working?
Whatever that might be – I am invoking my inner Felicity Smoak and challenging you to make a decision.
Then comment here or tweet me at @modernmarried and say “No more dangling maybes for me!” and I will cheer you on!
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