Love advice is my favorite kind. I have been married over 8 years now and read so much about what makes relationships work that when people are stuck, I love to help un-stick them.
Oftentimes coaching or counseling is a big investment and time commitment and not necessarily right for everybody.
What’s the next best thing to a relationship coach on the phone? A library of romantic relationship wisdom to guide you through those sticky situations and dark nights of the heart.
I had so much fun putting together a list of what I think are the absolute best relationship books. If you want the whole scoop of why these are the relationship books that you should read, read on!
MARRIAGE BOOKS
Lies at the Altar, the Truth About Great Marriages by Robin L. Smith – I read this book when I was getting married and it was so timely. It started our tradition of asking untraditional questions to get to know each other in a deeper way and that has continued throughout our marriage. My favorite truth is that the person you are at the altar is the same one you will be at the breakfast table. Robin is the ultimate marriage-myth debunker and I love that!
The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work by the legendary John Gottman. – Gottman’s research and approach has deeply influenced the fabric of ModernMarried and almost everything I share. This book takes the research and breaks it down into what you need to know and do to have an awesome marriage. It’s my go-to book for simple, implementable principles that really make a difference.
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman – This is like relationship communication 101 – everyone can benefit from understanding the concepts behind our love languages and learning to really understand how the people we love want to receive love. As well as help us communicate how we want to be loved ourselves.
How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking About It by Patricia Love – I got this book when I was working with a coaching client who really wanted to get through to her partner and words were not working. The title says it all. If talking has become an issue, try this book, it could help.
Making Marriage Simple by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt – This is my favorite wedding gift book. It’s simple, approachable, and has a ton of exercises to bring you closer. It really does make marriage simpler.
Happy Wives Club by Fawn Weaver – I love this book because it’s a positive reflection of marriages all over the world. We need to hear more stories of what happy marriages look like so we can have a variety of maps to follow on our own journeys.
The Argument-Free Marriage also by Fawn Weaver – This book made the list for several reasons – first the absolutely radical idea that argument free marriages are not only possible but actually exist. I think argument free marriages can be like the 4 minute mile – once couples know that they exist, more couples can have them.
So that’s really the most important reason, however I am also extremely proud to be quoted in this book with an excerpt from my definition of marriage post (which you can read here). It’s not every day a girl gets quoted in a book. So it’s on the list because it actually should be and doubly because <Proud Moment Alert!> I am actually in it.
Best Relationship Books that aren’t specifically about marriage….
The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz – this is the most soulful approach to the experience of love I have ever read. Half the book is highlighted. I come to it every year for different reasons and every time it has just the right idea I need in that moment.
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle – This book teaches the concept of “the pain body” which I wrote about here. That concept has probably eliminated or highly minimized the few disagreements we have had, because I realized that I wasn’t mad about the thing, I was mad about what the thing triggered in me and that was so much deeper. The hubs and I both developed a lot of compassion for each other’s pain body from reading this book and it has hugely influenced our marriage even though it isn’t a traditional relationship book.
BONUS – My two favorite Dating Books: (For all the single ladies! I have always wanted to say that. So there.)
If the Buddha Dated by Charlotte Kasl – this is the book I was reading when I met the hubster. This is the book I recommend to anyone who asks me about dating. It has lots of exercises and focusing questions to really bring the deepest part of who we are to the experience of dating and connecting deeply with another person.
Score Your Soulmate by Lisa Marie Hayes – This is a law of attraction book with a very methodical approach to identifying and attracting your soulmate. It’s the book I wish existed back when I was dating…I probably would have avoided a lot of first dates that went nowhere if I had this book as my guide.
There you have it, my favorite relationship books filled with useful, actionable love advice all in one place.
What’s YOUR favorite relationship book?
I have compiled this list of books that I have actually, read and used and love. Is there a relationship book that rocked your world? Please share in the comments or tweet me @modernmarried.
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