I have been thinking a lot about FUN lately. Whenever I speak with a woman who is struggling in her relationship, and I ask how much fun she is having, her answer is often almost none.
I often have coaching calls with clients where we talk about fun in depth, why it matters, how to plan for it and what to do when you aren’t having any.
The key is to plan fun IN ADVANCE – which can often lead to having FUN while PLANNING fun.
Here’s an example –
Recently the hubby and I were planning a trip to upstate New York to go to a family wedding. We didn’t know many of the people attending, so it was a little stressful. While lovely, upstate New York isn’t exactly the pinnacle of fun….sooooooo we did what Life Coaches and Husbands Married To Life Coaches do….we asked a POWERFUL QUESTION –
how could we make this trip fun for us?
We decided to extend our trip by a couple of days and spend a night in New York City. Then we thought, hmmmm if we are going to the city, let’s see a play!
We started talking about what kind of play we might want to see and decided we wanted what we call “Guaranteed Goodness” – something we will likely love no matter what.
And that is how we wound up with 2 tickets to see FROZEN on Broadway. And our attitudes around the trip immediately shifted from being stressed to could-not-possibly-be-more-excited.
We stacked the deck in favor of FUN. We asked a guiding question and then we let that answer guide our next steps. This is one of the processes we do in private coaching over and over again.
So many people expect fun to just HAPPEN. And then they are disappointed when it doesn’t. I am here to tell you that the very best kind of FUN is PLANNED. It is engineered, like a warm welcome at a five star hotel.
If you are resisting planning fun, you are missing out. If you have no time for fun, you don’t have a time management problem, you have a priorities problem. I want you to know this, not to feel bad or to beat yourself up about it, but to SEE what is happening so you can do something about it.
Fun matters – specifically in long term marriages because doing new things together activates the same chemicals in your body that dating does. You engineer that feeling of closeness and connection by doing fun new things, and you don’t cue those chemicals to release if you are doing the same things over and over again.
Fun helps you relax, and guess what, when you relax, you are in a better mood, make better choices and get to enjoy life more.
Fun is like an emotional vitamin you NEED to take every day. If you haven’t had any in a while, this message is for you right now: plan to have some FUN tonight or tomorrow or as soon as possible once you read this.
If you are in an emotional situation where even THINKING about fun feels too intense, too out of reach or too stressful, that is just a sign that you need it even more than you think you do. You can make fun simple and free.
One time they were playing the song Mamma Mia on the speakers of this fancy shmancy outdoor mall we have in Miami called the Village of Merrick Park. The hubster and I started dancing on the second floor walk way (it was empty) and gave the restaurant guests across the plaza quite a show. We could not stop laughing.
It was SO MUCH FUN. It was even more fun because it was so scandalous to do in a fancy place. And we did not care, we twirled and disco danced and were just silly happy people enjoying life and each other.
This is what I want for each and every one of you and this is why I share tips and guidance and stories and invitations to coach with me and have your own kind of fun wherever you go.
BRING ON THE FUN. Plan for it. Enjoy it. Prioritize it. Plan for it again.
