Does it feel safe to talk about the hard stuff?

We are going to talk about safety today. 

Because you can’t have a thriving, 5 star marriage without it. 

It doesn’t sound sexy – but it is the sexiest thing in your relationship. 

Because you can’t have hot sex if you can’t relax and you can’t relax if you don’t feel safe.

You can’t have great adventures, make amazing memories or have the difficult conversations that lead to the greatest closeness without safety. 

So it might sound boring at first, but it is one of the most exciting and important things you will ever do for your marriage. 

And once you master the concept of safety, it will impact every relationship in your life. 

Including the one you have with yourself. 

So here is the scoop:

If you hesitate to tell the truth about what you REALLY want in your marriage, and you aren’t sure why, 98% of the time the reason is because you don’t feel SAFE.

2% of the time it’s like – do I have my period, have I eaten? have I slept? am I tired? things like that, when it just doesn’t feel like the right time, but you know you will get to it later. 

If it doesn’t feel like the right time EVER, that’s when you know there is some safety to build.

Just like we need to feel physically safe to relax, we need to feel EMOTIONALLY safe to share what’s in our hearts.

I talk about emotional safety all the time because any relationship that is struggling needs more safety. Always.

So the question is, how do you help yourself feel safer?

When you deeply understand that our feelings are caused by the WAY we are thinking, you get to access the feeling of safety no matter what your partner is doing.

You don’t have to wait. You get to have it now, feel it now and then decide what you want from a place of centeredness and power.

This is SIMPLE but is not EASY.

I work with my private coaching clients in 6 month cycles because it takes time to build emotional muscles just like it takes time to build physical ones.

I have 3 resources to share today on creating safety, pick the one that calls to you the most and listen to it, use it, choose one thing or two and implement it. 

Resource 1 – an in depth interview I did on creating emotional safety 

Resource 2 – a 6 minute overview on creating safety, approaching arguments differently and some questions to ask to start creating safety right now

Resource 3 – the better marriage masterclass. about 45 minutes that include 5 essential shifts that will help you have a better marriage

Ask yourself today:

What do I need to THINK right now to feel SAFER in my relationship? 

See what comes up. Follow the nudges.