Our country is in mourning. We go to work, do groceries, buy Christmas presents, get stuck in traffic and do all the things we normally do and at the same time there is a fracture in our collective heart as we mourn together.
Over the last few days emotions have been high, tears have been flowing, some friends worry they aren’t experiencing enough pain, others worry they can’t turn the pain off and in the midst of unspeakable grief, everywhere I turn what I see is unshakeable hope.
Kaitlin Roig is the teacher who locked her kids in the bathroom, kept them quiet (truly a miracle) told them she loved them and kept them alive. If you haven’t seen her story, you can find it here.
I was travelling the day everything happened and my only news came from my husband and reactions on Facebook. The very first video I saw was Kaitlin telling her story. Seeing it and thinking of her bravery, her determination and her love for her kids made me cry. Knowing she got them out alive made me cry again.
Unspeakable grief. Unshakeable hope. Both at the same time. That has been my experience of this tragedy.
As I watch the world around me, some friends deeply grieving, others finding ways to cope as best as they can, I find that I have no answers to offer. No wise quote or my standard humorous remarks.
I am grateful for my coach training – it invites me to ask myself powerful questions such as:
“What can I do, today, right now about this?” and “What can I let go?”
Sometimes the answer is sign a petition or click “like” on Facebook. Sometimes the answer is “just cry.”
When I sat down to write today all that came was a story. So I wrote one just for us. For me and for you. Writing it helped me and gave me peace.
Here is my little bit of peace:
Grief and Hope, a Love Story
Once upon a time a boy named Grief met a girl named Hope. This is their story.
Grief thinks of the lives lost, the family members affected and the community, forever shaken. Then Grief starts asking Why? And tries to make sense of the senseless.
Grief wants to know how we make sure this never ever happens again to anyone ever.
Grief wants answers. At first Grief is in pain, but after a few minutes it’s just royally pissed and wants to make laws, ban things, sign petitions, and generally beat up a pillow until it calms back down again and just wants to cry.
While Grief is either becoming a political activist or looking for someone to blame, Hope arrives.
Hope thinks of the bravery of the teachers who saved their children. Then Hope starts loving everyone and reminding everyone there is so much to love.
People are more good than bad. Miracles happen every day, even on terrible, unforgettable days. Children who usually squeal and scream and laugh and holler remain completely silent while waiting for the good guys to come and get them. Hope takes credit and says, “I did that.”
Grief meets Hope and does not know what to do. Grief just wants to cry and yell at Senators. Hope does the only thing it knows how…it sees Grief and knows tomorrow will be better. Like a candle in the dark Hope just stands there waiting, arms open.
When Hope meets Grief it knows it found a deep reservoir of feeling.
Hope knows feeling your feelings is the most powerful way to let them go.
She wants Grief to kick and scream and cry as much as necessary. Hope is not afraid of Grief.
Hope knows Grief’s anger will pass and when it’s ready it will hug back.
And when they hug all that will be left is Love.
Love will have babies named everything under the sun, they will dance and play and create laws and become Senators (and Senatresses!)
They will sign their own petitions and plant organic everything and live full lives and die when they are old and wrinkly.
They will know their dad as G and Hope as Mom and never imagine that so much pain could lead to so much good. Because all they will ever know is that they were loved.
The end.
If you want to find some peace today, I invite you to start looking for it. It sneaks up on you in the strangest places. Blogs, Bathrooms, Texts, Old Notebooks, New Friends. Take peace anywhere you find it and share it if you can.
I usually ask a question at the end of my posts. I honestly don’t know what to ask today. If there is something you would like to share, I would love to read it. If you would like a moment of silence – that’s good too.
