We have some AMAZING conversations in my Facebook Group, The Better Marriage Club.
I wrote this response to someone who asked, Is marriage worth it?
A HEALTHY marriage is very much worth it and a TOXIC marriage is worth figuring out if it can be healed or if it needs to be let go.
There is some really interesting research that a toxic marriage has the same effect on your body as smoking, while a healthy marriage seems to influence living healthier, longer and making more money over the course of your life.
So whatever we need to do to get to healthy and thriving is worth it. And that will look like different things to different people.
What I see a lot is people doing a lot of the wrong things and then feeling frustrated about their results – and what I say is this, if I try to make a chocolate cake with pineapples, no matter how many pineapples I use, I will never get chocolate cake! 😉
So when we look for our happiness outside of ourselves = pineapples.
When we blame instead of taking personal responsibility = pineapples.
When we constantly communicate out of fear and pain instead of love and generosity or kindness = pineapples….you get the idea.
What I teach is that we clean up our side of the table first.
We cannot possibly know if our marriages are worth saving if we haven’t cleared up our own thoughts and beliefs about it first then from there we take different actions and start making chocolate cake with chocolate. (and yes I use cake and pie examples all the time…fair warning. haha)
Here are three resources that I suggest:
1. The self coaching model. It is one of the most powerful coaching tools I use with my private clients. You can take the thought “Marriage isn’t worth it” and run it through the model and see where that leads you. Watch this video with the self coaching model here.
2. The Better Marriage Masterclass. This will give you different perspectives to look at your marriage through. You can sign up for the replay here.
3. Use Power Questions. These 5 power questions are what every woman should know to improve her marriage today. Sign up for them here.
If you want to get to the root causes of why you feel the way you do and what to do about it, you are definitely in the right place.
So there you have it. My answer to “is marriage worth it?” The bottom line is you get to DECIDE right now and every day if you marriage is worth it and then live into that decision.
If you are ready to take massive action in your marriage, my coaching program can help you. Apply for a call with me here and let’s talk about your vision, the issues you are facing right now and how I can help.
To a life filled with powerful questions!
