Ep 188 - How to Use an Intentional Stress Mindset to Support Your Nervous System

Ep 188 – How to Use an Intentional Stress Mindset to Support Your Nervous System

featuring former client + brilliant coach Sarah Hall

For so many high-achieving women, stress feels like a given.

It’s woven into full calendars, long to-do lists, and a deep sense of responsibility for everyone and everything.

But what if stress itself isn’t the problem?

✨ What if it’s the way we relate to it that holds the key? ✨

That’s the idea behind the intentional stress mindset—a concept my former client (and brilliant coach and nervous system educator) Sarah Hall teaches as a foundation for emotional regulation, productivity, and peace.

Sarah and I worked together in private coaching, and on this week’s episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, she shares some of her favorite takeaways from our time together—and how integrating them changed her relationship with stress.

Rather than trying to eliminate stress (which isn’t realistic), Sarah invites us to work with our nervous systems. That means recognizing early signals, understanding what state your body is in, and supporting yourself in ways that are proactive rather than reactive.

Understanding the Nervous System’s Role

At the heart of Sarah’s work is a breakdown of the three main nervous system states:

Safe (regulated): calm, connected, and fully resourced
Mobilized (fight or flight): on edge, tense, or hyper-focused
Shut down (freeze/collapse): disconnected, numb, or exhausted

Each of these states shapes how you relate to your partner, your work, and yourself.

Trying to “power through” your day while unknowingly in survival mode?
That’s a fast track to disconnection—not because you don’t care, but because your nervous system never got what it needed.

✨ When you can name your state, you open the door to meet yourself with curiosity instead of judgment. ✨

That’s where real regulation begins.

What an Intentional Stress Mindset Really Looks Like

This isn’t toxic positivity or bypassing your real feelings.
It’s a conscious, empowered choice to listen to your body before you hit your edge.

Sarah reminds us that most people try to regulate after they’re overwhelmed.
But when you prepare ahead of time?
You build emotional flexibility before it’s a crisis.

This could look like:

Building a five-minute buffer between meetings
A body check-in before a big conversation
A note on your desk with grounding phrases for when the pressure builds

It’s less about doing more, and more about how intentionally you meet your own needs.

The Power of Glimmers

One of the most beautiful tools Sarah shares is the concept of glimmers—those tiny moments of safety and calm your nervous system recognizes and remembers.

It might be sunlight through your kitchen window.
The smell of your favorite tea.
A breath that finally lands.

These small moments matter.
They’re not fluff—they’re anchors.
And part of building an intentional stress mindset is noticing them, naming them, and returning to them on purpose.

Why This Matters (in Marriage and Beyond)

If you’re constantly in a stress state, it’s nearly impossible to be the grounded, open, generous version of yourself you want to be.

This isn’t about being “too much” or “too sensitive.”
It’s about the biology of your body doing its best to protect you—even when what you really want is connection.

When you shift your relationship with stress, you shift your capacity for love. For presence. For peace.

And that’s not just good for your nervous system—it’s revolutionary for your relationships.

Ready to Explore This Work More Deeply?

Sarah’s story is a beautiful example of what happens when you say yes to yourself—and get the right support to help you integrate the parts of your life that feel disconnected.

✨ If her experience resonates with you and you’re ready for that kind of personal support, private coaching is currently OPEN. ✨

We work with your brilliance, your emotional cycles, your nervous system, and your actual life—not just theory.
Together, we create space for calm, clarity, and lasting change.

💌 Click here to apply for private coaching.

A New Way to Relate to Pressure

An intentional stress mindset doesn’t promise a stress-free life.
Stress will still show up—because life is full, people are complicated, and plans don’t always cooperate.

But you can change your relationship to it.

You can stop bracing… and start preparing.
You can stop judging… and start listening.
You can stop reacting… and start responding—with care, clarity, and love.

✨ And that’s where everything shifts. ✨✨ Transparency Note: This blog post was lovingly crafted with support from my AI writing partner—because even coaches need a strategic thinking buddy! All coaching insights and stories are my own. ✨

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

PRIVATE COACHING

If you are finding the concepts I teach in this podcast useful, and you want in depth personalized support for your own relationship, I invite you to apply for my personalized coaching program where we take all the things I talk about here and apply them to you and your marriage. CLICK HERE to apply.