The school where I trained as a coach also trains weight loss coaches. They have this kick start they do to re-balance your metabolism so you can feel whether you are truly hungry or if your hormones are just giving false messages to your body…and it’s super simple:
No sugar.
No flour.
You remove those two things and then whatever signals your body is giving you are real. You can trust them and then you can practice eating until you are full and choosing different foods.
Whenever anybody goes no sugar, no flour they almost always lose weight (unless they have some other physical issue).
It got me thinking…
What is the marriage equivalent of no sugar, no flour?
And here is what I came up with –
No Complaining
No Defending
I am calling it Emotional Weight loss.
Imagine removing complaint and defense from your relationship so whatever is left is what you really have to deal with?
Immediately you would see a difference.
Immediately the vibe would shift and then you get to the real work of building up Perspective, Partnership and Pleasure – the framework for relationship resilience that will help any relationship get to thriving.
Now, going no sugar, no flour is hard. No one wants to do it at first, and it’s hard to keep it up and all that, right?
No complaining, no defending is the same at an emotional level. You might miss a day, mess up, realize you are complaining and defending WAY MORE than you think you are….we all eat more sugar and flour than we THINK we do….
No complaining, no defending – emotional weight loss…imagine how heavy your marriage feels when you are fighting or not even talking or distant or annoyed and upset.
Now imagine your marriage 50 emotional pounds lighter.
Wouldn’t that change EVERYTHING?
