I have written about Christine Kane before, because she has been a critically important mentor in my life who has inspired, motivated and taught me so many things that have had a lasting impact not only in the way I live but in the way I think every day.
Today I want to share 5 of my favorite lessons she taught me about the mindset of success. Whether for relationships, work, life, or any project you want to move ahead on or experience you want to create, you can add these 5 lessons to your mental tool box and pull them out whenever you need them.
If it’s not an Absolute Yes!, it’s a Hell No. It seems like such a simple idea, but I had never heard it put that way before. It’s definitely the sweet, yet strong, big sister to Oprah’s “Doubt means no.” Which I use extensively whenever I need to check in with my gut about making a decision.
My favorite place to ask, “Is this an Absolute Yes!?” is in the dressing room at stores when I am trying on clothes. We have all had those moments when it fits okay and the color is nice, but it’s just not quite right. Without pausing to question – I used to actually buy those items. And never wear them of course.
I think this phrase has saved me at least several hundred dollars from purchases I haven’t made, by pausing and asking myself, “is this really an absolute yes?” and if there is any luke-warmness at all. I invoke my inner Oprah, remind myself that “doubt means no.” and return it to the rack.
Of course you can use this when deciding almost anything whether it’s buying a house or choosing a hotel to stay in over the weekend, etc.
Imperfect Action is Still Action. You can thank this phrase for the blog you are reading right now and all the writing I have done over the last 3 and half years. I know my writing isn’t perfect. And I love sentence fragments. I know I have so much more to learn about life and love. And after a lifetime of perfectionist tendencies, I have finally accepted that authenticity and action are so much more important than perfection.
Whenever I get stuck on something because I want to make it “just right,” I remember imperfect action is still action and just do it.
Use this one whenever you feel like your perfection police is holding you back from doing something you really want. Pull it out, dust it off and just repeat, “imperfect action is still action,” all the way through until you are done. Repeat as needed.
Mindset first, skill set second. Christine talks about this in relation to building a soul based business.
She teaches that the first thing that needs to develop is your mindset as it rules the development of anything else you are working on.
When I was in HR Land in Corporate World, I used to use it all the time whenever I was teaching someone something new.
Because first you have to believe it’s possible you can learn to use Excel or write a brilliant Standard Operating Procedure that everyone follows to the letter (the dream of HR Managers everywhere ;-)) before you can actually do it.
If your mind is open to learning new things and to the possibility of amazing results. Then you can achieve them.
Closed minds don’t win Oscars. Or conduct cutting edge research to find cures for diseases.
Whether you are helping your kids with homework or starting your own mini empire – use mindset first, skill set second to remember to work on both and to start with how you think first.
Whenever a flower sprouts, the dirt comes up first. This is one of my favorite and least favorite lessons at the same time. I love it because it’s true, but I hate it when it’s actually happening.
In nature, when a flower is about to sprout, as it pushes out of the soil, the soil is disrupted, the dirt comes up, shifts, moves around to make space for the flower. The flower is beautiful, awesome, fantastic in every way, but it doesn’t come up without moving the dirt first.
In life, “the dirt” can look like snapping at your husband because you are super nervous that you are going to speak to a crowd of 100 for the very first time.
Or it can look like getting lost on your way to an important meeting that will make a huge difference in your career. It can be crying for no reason because your life is changing – for the good, but you are grieving the life you had, even as you create something better for yourself.
When the “dirt” came I used to get so annoyed and upset. More dirt, anyone? But then I learned to recognize that whenever I saw dirt, it was also a sign of something else, the bloom is coming. Something good is happening. I am growing.
It makes it easier to accept the whole process now that I know they are two sides of the very same coin. It also helps to know this is true for my friends, family and hubster so when they are going through their own dirt can bring out the compassion and be just a little bit more patient as their own flowers bloom.
Make decisions from where you want to be. The last one for today is one of my favorites. I used to make decisions from where I was. Thinking this is my reality today, I need to adjust to it and decide accordingly.
Then as I grew and learned that I am a powerful creator in the life I want to lead, I learned to step out and look at the life I wanted and ask myself, “If I was already <insert your brand of awesome here>? What would I decide? How would I approach this?”
This does not mean be irresponsible and buy the $600 dollar jeans instead of the lovely $32 ones at New York and Company. (I am in love with their boyfriend jeans right now, which amuses the hubby endlessly as he does not understand why they are called boyfriend jeans instead of just jeans.)
As I was saying – making decisions from where you want to be, doesn’t mean becoming irresponsible, it means taking a minute to think about how you want to show up in this world, who you want to be – generous, loving, kind?
And then making decisions from that place, even if you are not feeling particularly gracious at that moment. So if the person I want to be is “a loving wife,” I might decide not to comment on the towels left in disarray in the bathroom and just straighten them myself. See how that works?
Make decisions from who you want to become would be a great parallel to that.
If you know someone awesome who would love these mindset shifts – please share this post.
It might be the spark of inspiration that moves their life massively forward, like mine did when I started working with my coach and mentor, Christine.
Thank you for reading and loving and breathing and trying. We are all in this beautiful world together and we can all help heal it, one love at a time. XO
