Maggie
Hey, everyone, welcome. One of the questions that hubby and I get asked most often is how did we meet. And it’s such a fun story, I thought I would invite him back on the show to tell the story with me and share his side of things. So welcome, husband.
Mariano
Thank you, happy to be here.
Maggie
So I love every kind of holiday story as my husband can attest. And I really believe that God has a sense of humor because my hubby and I actually met on Christmas Day. So I love to joke around that I already got the best present ever, but I still want something under the tree.
Mariano
Oh, of course, of course.
Maggie
So as I was preparing this episode, I thought it would be fun to share our Christmas love story. I can’t go out and produce a whole Christmas movie, but I can bring you a special podcast from a real life love story with the hubster and I. And I wanted to share some of the relationship lessons that we learned when we first started going out, you know, I was not going to do a show about our love story without some relationship lessons, right Yes, the hubby is nodding. This is audio, we must use words.
Mariano
Yes.
Maggie
You guys are gonna have so much fun today. Okay, so here are my top five favorites, favorite relationship lessons that I thought of when I thought about our love story. When we first met and started going out. I have lots of lessons. Obviously, this is why we have a podcast record every week. But these are five things that I thought about when I was just remembering the process of meeting the hubster and starting dating and going out. So number one, change happens in an instant. Number two, be 100% you. Number three, say yes to things you might normally say no to. Number four, be bold. And number five, plan for the long term. And we’re gonna go one by one on each of them as you sort of share the story. So before we get started, or as we get started telling the story, I want to give a shout out to my beloved friend, colleague, and coach and client, Lacey Sites. We did an interview with her called emotional leadership. We’ll link to that in the show notes. But Lacey comes to mind whenever we share the story because one time, we were all out at dinner, and I was so excited to share our love story. And Lacey said no, no, no, I like the way that Mariano tells it. So in honor of you Lacy, Mariana was going to tell the story. So Hubby, where would you like to begin?
Mariano
I like to begin that little story on New Year’s Eve, before we met, because that’s where it starts. It all starts for me that day. So I had pretty much been married to my job for a decade and I stopped dating, I kind of felt like I guess I’ve grown a callus around my heart. I was not in touch with my feelings. And so they didn’t just didn’t seem a priority at the time and I made a decision. You know what, this year your resolution I’m gonna, like, let love into my heart, which is a pretty bold statement. And I did. Like I really completely I mean, I didn’t like quit my job or anything but I mean made massive changes. I started basically saying yes to everything I I joined the singles club and did with all kinds of adventures, you know, from jumping out of airplane parachute or, you know, just kind of adventures like that helicopter flying to going to happy hours that for me being an introvert. You know, this huge, I just kind of did a lot of things I kind of got out of my rut. I started reading dating books and listening to things about dating and expanding my mind and it wasn’t just dating, a lot of it was self improvement.
Mariano
You know, it’s like, not using tricks to get someone but just becoming naturally more compelling because, you know, having confidence and knowing who you are and all that. So I went through a year where I literally didn’t say no to anything. I went on road trips with strangers. I did all kinds of things and among the things towards the end that year in September, I went on a trip to Greece with a friend of my brothers that she wanted to go to Greece. And he’s like, you know what Mariano likes to travel you should invite him along. Now, I was like, Sure, I was saying yes to everything else. And that trip was amazing. For me, it was transformational. It’s kind of like, all those little pieces that had just been invented throughout the year all had, you know, got put together there. And all of a sudden, while I was there, I don’t know where I started journaling and having to write, I would wake up at five in the morning with things that I wanted to get out an express, like a dam burst.
Mariano
And I was like a different person, it was really an amazing transformation. But also a little scary is me, you know, logical engineering, like, what is going on here. I’m very left brain that was when my right brain decided to like take over. And that was quite the experience. And when I got back, I was sharing with all my friends, not everyone was into it. But one of them was like, You know what, this sounds like you had a personal transformation. Why don’t you check out this, you know, go to the meditation at this church that I go to, which was Unity Church, which is where we ultimately met. And the sermon that when I first went on Sunday was about personal transformation. I was like, wow, these people got me. And that was it. I started going to all kinds of events there. And you know, and I created a spiritual discussion group, because I was trying to process this. And so some of the friends you know, most of the friends were like, party friends, you know, fairweather friends. But if you were, you know, curious, and they joined that group and talk about two different things I was wrestling with and trying to figure out. And that led us to our meeting. So on Christmas Day, we go to church service and after service, went out to breakfast with some friends from church. And guess who also went to breakfast there?
Maggie
Spoiler alert, it was me.
Mariano
Yes, it was. So, we started talking. You definitely had a very compelling presence. And I loved how open and expressive you were. You’re so enthusiastic of life. I remember, I think it was when I invited you to join my special discussion group and you bounced in your chair although you denied it for several years.
Maggie
Ok, let me just jump in for a moment. So when they get excited, I apparently have now accepted the fact that I bounce. But it’s been something we’ve sort of teased each other back and forth, about for quite a while. And, yes, in my recollection, I could imagine some bouncin going on. Before we continue on, like before we move on to that moment, when we met, I think it would be cool. This is sort of like if you imagine a movie where now we’re gonna go backwards. And I’ll tell you my side. Yeah. But before we do that, I just want to point out a couple of things that you said that are themes that we talk about on the podcast all the time. And I think it’s so important to sort of pull them out. One is the power of decision of just deciding, that you decided you were going to open your heart and everything else came from that decision. And everything else that happened was born, the moment that you made that decision.
Maggie
And, you know, as you listen to the podcast, and as you help me with different things around the podcast, that in the relationship table, we always say like the top of the table is you have to make a decision that you either want a better marriage or you want a different experience, or you want to love more deeply or be more authentic, whatever it is, right? That’s on your mind or that, that for everyone listening, right? It’s like, what is that decision that needs to be made to help you live the life you truly crave? And I just wanted to point out what a beautiful, you know, story arc. Now, you know, the outcome of the decision. We don’t usually know when we decide something, right where it’s gonna lead us, but we’re sort of talking about what happened before, but we’re already living the after. And it’s like how powerful that moment of decision was. What are your thoughts about that?
Mariano
Yeah, I think you nailed it.
Maggie
Again, so that’s one thing. And then another theme we’ll just be talking about throughout this episode is saying yes. But one of the things I noticed is you said, I said yes to everything that came in for me. I just said yes, I tried things. I just tried things I hadn’t done before. And how many of us, I include myself in this. Sometimes we will say I want a new result. I want a different experience, and then we keep doing all the things we did, you know, last week or last month, as opposed to trying and experimenting and really giving ourselves permission to try new things. So I thought that was really powerful as well. And then the last thing I just wanted to, just because it’s I think it’s a fun behind the scenes, is I wanted to talk about the spiritual discussion group. Because this was before Facebook, this was before all the things we have now. So what this was 2006, right, because we met on December 25 2005. Right? Yes.
Maggie
So we had like a week, and then the rest of it happens in 2006. So this spiritual discussion group was literally he would like send an email to, I don’t know, 12 people, 14 people or something like that a little group of people. And he would read things. Here’s what I remember, he would read things and discuss them. And, and I thought so back in the day I was in, I don’t know, AOL chat. I was in fan sites and stuff. And I thought, Oh, you know, listservs I know some of the people listening to us are gonna know what a listserv is, some people are gonna be like, I need to look that up. Anyway, so I was used to that back then. Right? It was our version of what Facebook would be now.
Maggie
And when he said he had this discussion group, I asked him, Well, how does one join such a group? This is interesting, who does that? Who has a spiritual discussion group, I was really fascinated and curious. And I remember the very first thing that he was discussing is why, it was something about why good women like bad boys or something like that.
Mariano
Yeah I read a book book about bad boys and the seven different types of bad boys and why women are attracted to them. And it was fascinating.
Maggie
Yeah, I have looked for that book. Other times, I’ve wanted to quote it, and I can’t find it in print anymore. I will link to it in the show notes if I could find it, but I haven’t been able to find it. But anyway, that was the gist of the book. And what I remember about receiving the analysis is what an intelligent, articulate, heartfelt, this is a very in depth analysis he did. He applied his engineer brain to this topic, and it was very in depth. And I guess I’ll just tell you this part of the story before we go on, to sort of end on a cliffhanger and then go backwards, is I read everything he said about it about bad boys, right? So just remember everyone, he’s analyzing a book about why women like bad boys. So we had just met, we didn’t know each other well, at all. We had like, one sort of group breakfast brunch together. And I wrote back to the group, and they said, Well, my hypothesis is that there’s nothing sexier than a reliable man. That was my reply, dot dot dot. Okay. We’re gonna rewind, go to my side of the story and see where that began. So I had worked in a law firm, as the training director in a law firm for nine years, I think six of those years or so I was the training director there. And I was traveling all over the country. So the law firm re worked had offices in Chicago in New York, and LA and I was I was traveling all the time. And at the time, I was single.
Maggie
And I had this thought it was just a thought that I had, which was I’d like to get married someday. And that thought was really quickly followed by the thought that if I keep traveling so much, if I met a person that I’d want to have a relationship with, I don’t know when I would see them. I just, had this thought, if I want to be in a situation where one day, if you get married, this is probably not the best place or the best job situation to do that from. And that also was a decision, a very conscious decision that I made to sort of reorganize my life around this goal. And when I think back on it today, and kind of bringing that back where we kind of we know how it turned out and turned out so well. But at that moment, I wasn’t dating anyone, didn’t have a boyfriend. Like I had no idea how it was all going to go. I just knew if I wanted this to happen, I was going to need to make some changes.
Maggie
So his story began about a year right before we met my story took a little bit longer sometimes I’m the turtle in the scenario so took a little bit longer, and I did eventually just change jobs had a job where I still ended up traveling in different ways, but much less often than I was before. And I was dating you know, I was I put myself out back then it was Match.com, and I went out on all kinds of matches. I had so many first dates. Sure, I wish I would have kept the diary back then some of those first dates were very funny situations, but a lot of first dates. And then I met someone actually, back then on match, we dated for about a year. And then that person dumped me for being too efficient. And it was a dumping. It wasn’t like we mutually elegantly agreed that we should no longer date I was like dumped. And I remember being so sad about it, I can laugh about it now. But at that moment, I was very sad about it. And I remember thinking how does a person dump another person for being too efficient, I couldn’t compute that in my brain. And at the time, I was recovering from that breakup. And I went to this church called Unity On The Base, I was a member of that church already. And I was taking a class, which was like a prayer class.
Maggie
And one of my friends who was one of my prayer partners in the class, kept inviting me to things. And he was a great guy. And he said, you know, you can’t sit home and wallow, you got to get out and do stuff, right. He wasn’t particularly like, I don’t know how to how to say, it’s like when you cry with your girlfriends, and you’re, sort of ruminating about all the things that happen. He was like, his way of helping me through it was just inviting me to do things. And one of the things he invited me too, was the breakfast where we met, it was a brunch. So if you look back on the calendar in 2005, Christmas Day was on a Sunday, which is why we were both at church, and then two separate groups of friends of ours. So my husband had a group of friends he was with and I had a couple friends I was with, they invited us to brunch after church service. And what I always loved to tell about this story is that I had already eaten. So my friend says, Hey, come to brunch with us. And I was also saying yes to things on purpose, right, intentional yes’s that I was giving. And normally, I would have said no, because I had already eaten. So why would you go to a meal, right? If you’ve already eaten, but in this case, I was practicing, sort of moving out of my comfort zone. And I said, Yes, sure, you know, I’ll go and they’re sitting across from me, was this kind hearted soul who could have known turned out to be the love of my life. So that’s kind of bringing us back to, that’s where we met. We exchanged email addresses instead of phone numbers, right? Which is kind of fun and different back then. And then he sent me the spiritual discussion group sort of digest of what they had been discussing. And then I read it. And I said, Hey, I just think there’s nothing sexier than a reliable man. And here we are.
Mariano
And I said, Wait a minute, I’m a reliable man, hmmm. And then I went to a New Year’s party with some friends, and had a great time. And then the next day, you know, New Year’s Day, had some time in my hands now sat down, I was reading If The Buddha Dated, which we bought at same time, an amazing book. And I made a list of what things I had to contribute, you know, as a partner, and I you know, worked on wrote down the list of what I was looking for in a partner. And all throughout that week, after you sent that email you had been in the back of my mind. Like your image kept coming up, and I was like, I think she might meet all these attributes. And then I sent you a for your eyes only email asking you to go out.
Maggie
Do you wanna say what happened with that email? The subject line is for your eyes only.
Mariano
I think you should tell it.
Maggie
Okay. So because we were in the discussion group, right, everybody read everything that was in the discussion group. So it made a lot of sense for him to send me something else that was private to me that said, for your eyes only. So I opened it and it was the kindest invitation to go out that I had ever received till that moment. It was the most respectful invitation I had ever received. And basically, he said, I’d love to get to know you better, hopefully as more than a friend but even if it’s just a friend, I think you’re very interesting person and I’d love to see you and it was just so incredibly kind. And I was really very moved by it. And then I think he put all his numbers like he had his office number and his cell number and his home, he gave me like five different phone numbers. And what I did with it immediately upon receiving it was print it out. I called an emergency meeting of my Advisory Committee, which at the time was my best friend and her mom and my mom. We went to lunch together and I pass it around the table. And everybody on my Advisory Committee, read the for your eyes only email, because I thought it was from my eyes only with respect to the group. My husband didn’t think so he thought it was from my eyes only.
Mariano
And I realized this issue, my committee is a process that you have.
Maggie
I in many other women, I am not alone.
Mariano
And that certainly is not my process.
Maggie
So I printed it out and we just discussed, you know, should I give this guy a chance and stuff? And then, I don’t know if he called me or I called him, but somehow we arranged to be on the phone together. Okay, he remembers, this is why Lacey likes it when you tell the story. Okay. So I called you, is that right?
Mariano
Yes.
Maggie
So I called him and I told him, obviously, I received the letter and that, you know, if he wanted to go out that I’d be willing to go out with him. But because I had just, you know, recently had my heart broken, I in no uncertain terms was very clear as to the parameters and the boundaries and all of the conditions upon which we could see each other. And it was so funny, because I’m not normally that way. But in this case, I was just so very, what is the word maybe we I was like, a little bit still recovering from that broken heart. And I was very much in like protective mode, so to speak. So I basically gave him this list of conditions under which if he was willing to meet all these conditions, and I wasn’t particularly pleasant about it. I was like, Listen, here’s what it is and listed out. And then what I remember from that was at the end of me giving this long list of sort of terms and conditions, he says, uh, so seven o’clock is okay? That’s how I remember it. Do you remember anything different?
Mariano
No, it sounds pretty accurate. You know, I used the Danny Concannon from the West Wing School of negotiating, I was just like, okay.
Maggie
So we’re gonna have to explain that reference. So we both love a show called The West Wing. And there’s a reporter on that show named Danny Concannon. He has a very beautiful, epic love story with the press secretary. And she also has a lot of conditions. And he just says, okay, like, whatever she asked for, he’s like, okay. So that’s the Danny Concannon school of love. from The West Wing. It works. It works. It’s effective. Okay. Right. Okay. So he asked me out, I said, Yes. And we went out. And here’s a couple of interesting sort of fun behind the scenes, things about that. So it was right after Christmas, right after New Years, right. And he emailed me. And it was a very pivotal email for this reason, before I met him, I used to go to work, go to yoga, after work, come home. You know, hang out with like, my best friend and like her mom, these very scandalous things I used to do. And I used to joke around with all my friends that God would have to send me my soulmate or my partner, he just had to send it like, have a knock on my door with a big red bow. Because I didn’t know how else I was gonna meet him since I did the same five things every week, basically, say, I said this joke. Or had I had this like refrain maybe a whole year, I would just always be saying this.
Maggie
And, you know, one of the things we talk about on this podcast a lot is how thoughts become things and how impactful Our thoughts are on our experiences. And, boy, this is an example of that. So I would say this phrase with a big red bow like all the time. So we talked on the phone, he invited me out on the date, we set the date for whenever the date was going to be and in the interim between that phone call and our first date, he sends me an email and think about it. He’s trying to be flirty, and sweet. You know, build anticipation for the date and all that stuff. And he sends me an email that basically, in essence, one day, I’m gonna find it, we’ll do a special podcast episode with our like our emails one day. But he, in essence, he said, because you’ve been such a good girl this year, Santa has brought you an extra present, you know, and it was him. He was the president. And he said all sorts of flirty kind of cheeky kind of thing. And then attached to that email where he’s calling himself or referring to himself as a present. He’s literally sitting in a room with a red wall. And I opened the email. And then I opened the picture. And I remember just feeling like, Oh, this is what I’ve been saying this whole time. It’s like the man with the big red bow that God is like on Christmas Day, right? Christmas present from God. And then the picture with the red wall, it really threw me. I thought there must be something to this guy. And I was right about that. Okay, so where shall we go next? Shall we? Is there anything else that you want to share about that initial meeting or whatever you just want to share?
Mariano
Just that our first date was a record breaking seven hours long.
Maggie
It is a little unusual, isn’t it?
Mariano
Yeah, I think so. But, you know, we love learning about each other. And at least for me, the connection was immediate. I, as you know, after we had been dating for like, 10 days, I was like, Okay, I’m ready to be your boyfriend. You better be my girlfriend, I was set.
Maggie
And I did not say yes, immediately. I know, it’s a shocker. I know. And it wasn’t as immediate for me as it was for him. Although, obviously, it is a very deep and abiding love now.
Mariano
We’re still recovering. Whereas I have been like, had gone through a year purging everything. And I was just like, free, my heart was open, I spoke my truth and I was myself, like, you know, like, there was, there was no filter for me.
Maggie
I love that there was no filter between him and life. So for me, I thought he was a kind of person and a good person. And that was my immediate sort of perception of him was that he was a good person. And so we went out again, and we went out a couple times. And after one of our dates I called my best friend, Mary. Hi, Mary. She’s listening to this. I’m sure she’s listening. I call my best friend, Mary. And I said, you know, this guy, he’s really nice. You know, he seems like a good person. But he’s a little bit goofy. I just, I don’t know about that. And in that inimitable way in which only best friends can. In complete deadpan my friend, Mary says to me, you’re goofy Maggie, get over it. And literally, I don’t know why I had no self awareness about this whatsoever. This is way before I became a coach, obviously, I had very little self awareness. And she said that to me, and I said, Yeah, I think you’re right I think I am. She was like, yeah. So that was a moment where I kind of just said, Okay, I’ll go out with him again. And that next time that we went out was that it was our fourth or fifth time out. I thought, Okay, this is someone I could really have a relationship with. You know, we could really have some great adventures together, which we are having, in fact. Okay. So, um, we talked a little bit about how change happens in an instant, right? You made the decision, I made the decision, it sort of took, it took a year, I think, for me, it took more than a year, maybe two or three years. But the moment that we opened ourselves up, to love to adventure to new experiences, you know, it’s almost like change, it takes all the time it takes and then it happens in an instant.
Mariano
And it wasn’t like we met at a bar, right? We just we’re living our life. And we’re and to me, when the change happens on instant, what comes to mind is be open to the opportunities. Yes, they’re there and they’ll happen. Your life can transform instantly. But you have to like step through door.
Maggie
Yes. And I think one of the things I talked about with you a lot and then I want to share with our listeners is that I think about why does a relationship work so well, like what is it about us that we can enjoy each other’s company, you know, even on lockdown and even see each other every day for months and months. And it’s this idea that e’re always open to opportunity, right? We’re always open to, oh, we can have fun in our backyard, oh, we could have fun, you know, recording a podcast, we can have fun figuring out, you know, something for the house.
Mariano
Or ordering groceries in instacart.
Maggie
We do make that a game, and have a lot of fun with it. So, that idea of being open to opportunity, what I want to share, because I know a lot of the people who listen, obviously to this podcast have been married for a long time. And it’s the idea that that doesn’t end when you stop dating, like you can be open to this opportunity now. How could you be open to opportunity today? When you listen to this? How can you be open to a new experience of your partner? Right? And your relationship can change in an instant? The moment that you open yourself up that way? Would you agree? \
Mariano
100%?
Maggie
Yeah, then Okay, be 100% you. So this was something that I thought was really interesting, especially when it talked it over with my friends. And at the time that we were dating was, as you can tell, you know, if you listen to the show for any period of time, I just like to keep it real, like I make mistakes, I do crazy things, not crazy things. But I do all the same things that anyone listening will also do. And I don’t try to make it sound fancier than it is like, you know, I get upset, I have moments of, you know, pain, I have moments of joy, all the things, right. And I’ve always been this way. And when I met my husband, we didn’t really like sugarcoat anything, we didn’t kind of put our best foot forward. From the very beginning, we were so authentic. And we got close so quickly, because there was zero pretending in the dating stage. And we still live that way today. And it’s hard sometimes, right? It’s not that it’s easy to do that sometimes we’ll hurt each other’s feelings, or sometimes we’ll share something that’s difficult to share. But it is one of the drivers, I think, to the sort of deep connection that we have that feel so strong, and I thought that was important to speak to what are your thoughts about that?
Mariano
When I was reading all those dating books, one of the things I remember clearly was, you know, if you play games, you will attract the game player. Like, you know, if you’re playing all these manipulation games, or pretending, you know, you’re not attracting, the person will be attracted to the real, authentic you, you’re wasting everybody’s time on this. You don’t want to get serious. And I was clear. I mean, I have been through a year where like I said, I was writing all these things, I was exposing myself, in a way I had not done in years, you know, like, letting people see the real me behind all those layers. And it was very freeing. And I was like this is this is living this is what real life is, is being yourself and showing that yes, though some people are rejecting and might be rejected by it, even better, because then you know, you’re not gonna waste time with those people.
Maggie
Spoken like a true engineer. Even better.
Mariano
Screen them out. Yeah, like I had no has zero time, to play games to lie, whatever. I was myself. And you were yourself. And we bonded in record time. I think because of that, you know, because we were seeing each other true selves from the beginning.
Maggie
So let’s just give people an idea of the timeline. So we met in Christmas 2005. You proposed about six months later?
Mariano
Yeah. But in February, I was already researching about engagement rings.
Maggie
That’s why he tells the story. Like I remember this.
Mariano
Remember the result, but the behind the scenes.
Maggie
Okay, so in February, he was already researching. That was another thing we have to do another shout out to Mary because my best friend Mary was the person on earth who told my husband that engagement rings have diamonds in them. This is not something that everybody knows. And so they don’t cover that in like computer engineering school or whatever. So thank you, Mary, for helping that along. And so he proposed six months later in February. So here’s what happened. My grandmother passed away in February, met in December, my grandmother passed away in February. And I was very close to her. She was the person who like took care of me when I was a little kid growing up and like would take care of me after school and I would go to her house every Sunday. It’s when I did you know growing up, so we were very close. And it was a very difficult. She’s the person on earth closest to me, at that point, who had like, passed away and so I was very shaken, but you know, by that whole experience, and we had just recently started dating and just recently started going out. And I remember very clearly, I do remember some things very clearly how supportive and so how kind, Mariano was at that moment. And I remember thinking, Oh, this is the person that I want to go through difficult things with. And that was a real turning point for us in terms of getting closer. So we met, in February, we just went to like another level of closeness. Then he proposed I remember if it was June or July, but somewhere in the middle of the summer, he proposed, yeah, June, I believe. Yeah. And then the following year in May we got married. So it really was at that time it was happening. It just seems so natural and so normal and was absolutely like the right thing to do. And it’s kind of cool that it all worked out. Because we kind of did go pretty fast there Mr. Reyes.
Mariano
No fear.
Maggie
Nope. Yeah. Okay. So the third point we want to talk about, which we’ve talked about so much, today so far, is say yes. Say yes to things you might normally say no to. I think that one’s pretty clear. We’ve discussed it a lot, then be bold. So I had just gotten dumped for being too efficient, as I mentioned earlier, and I said yes to going out with him anyway. This was something fun that I remember was, and I just still feel like it’s a compliment for some reason. But it’s probably like bias. That’s not a good thing. But, I remember that you told me you thought I was younger than I am. And when I started telling you about all the jobs that had in the titles of my roles that I’d had, you thought, Oh, this woman actually, you know, she’s been working for 15 years she must not be as young as I thought she was. But you asked me out anyway, before you knew that, you still were bold and asked me out. So do you want to speak a little bit to that?
Mariano
Yeah, I mean, just, I was just in the phase of being bold to everything. And sure, I mean, you were a fascinating person I wanted to get to know better. Why should that hold me back?
Maggie
And it turns out, we’re like two years apart, which is awesome. Okay, then the last point that we want to talk about is plan for the long term, and I’ll let you share that part of the story.
Mariano
Good times. So it was it was our first date, was it our first date?
Maggie
It was our first date, it was.
Mariano
So you know, we had a great time together. But as you had read me right, before we went on our date, you know, you were still tender. You were caring for your relationship. You were taking it slow. You wanted to protect yourself, you want it to be sure it was safe, before you fully open up. And I got it. I understood. And I was really into you. And basically I was going to wait as long as it takes. So to summarize that I’m already out. I said, bye. I plan for the long term. To which you must have pondered all night.
Maggie
Okay, so everyone listen up. It was the end of the day, we had spent like the whole afternoon together. It was one of those like he said it was multiple hours, we went ice skating, then we went to dinner, then we went to Starbucks, like we did four different or five different activities in this date. And literally, he’s leaving. He’s like, we’re completely done, you know, had a great time. And he says, I plan for the long term, bye, and like, drives away. And I was left there. Just imagine, I don’t know, very soap opera ish. What does he mean, he plans for the long term? What is What is he talking about? Right? So queue all the questions that you could imagine. And what’s really fun about that is that years later, we were already married. And I still was wondering, what exactly did you mean by that? So we still joke about it today.
Mariano
It was a good hook.
Maggie
Yeah, he definitely like left on a cliffhanger. But planning for the long term. In his case, and I, you know, I’m obviously used it too, is like, I know what I want out of life. I know what I want in a partner. I know what I want for myself in the long term. And I think that so many of us and I’ve been that I’ve done this too, is like we think in the shorter term of today and tomorrow, or we think in the shorter term of whatever’s in front of us to figure out and sometimes it’s so immensely powerful to take a step back, and to really look and I talk with clients about this all the time, like think about the next 20 years, the next 30 years. What do you want your marriage to look like? If you had more of the same of what you were having right now? Would you want 30 years of that? Okay, if your answer is not Yes, with a double scoop, this is when you need to go to my website MaggieReyes.com, make sure you subscribe to my emails get all of the things I teach, because that’s the answer that you want to have right is yes, it’s a double scoop. I really love that. Do you have anything else you want to add about that?
Mariano
No it’s been a blast.
Maggie
Okay, so those are the five lessons. That’s our Christmas love story. I just hope that all of you have enjoyed this trip down memory lane as much as we have. If you have questions for our next episode, when I invite him back, you can follow me on Instagram @themaggiereyes, you can message me there as well. I loved being able to share this. Thank you to my husband for joining us for another episode.
Mariano
My pleasure.
Maggie
Bye, everyone.