As I write this, I am taking a class called “The Deep Exhale with Mara Glatzel.” It is an invitation to rest and to re-organize my approach to work and play and time.
I am a recovering Type A Over-achiever, Over-scheduler, and Under-rester.
I am taking my own advice and asking for help and learning new things.
Today’s question for the class is “”What are the words you most need to hear today?”
For me, two things came up immediately.
First – “it’s okay to pause.”
Not to stop completely or give up or turn around. Although sometimes, giving up, turning around or completely stopping is absolutely the right thing to do. But most of the time, what we all need is to pause, take a breathe, re-group, re-assess. Have a huddle with the team and decide what our next play will be.
Except, I don’t know about you, but I am really bad at giving myself permission to pause.
My Type A starts yelling, Go! Go! GOOOOOOOOOO. And she is really loud and sassy and Cuban so she gets my attention.
In the meantime, my highest and best and most serene self is quietly whispering, “It’s okay to pause. It’s really okay. The world will not end. Chocolate will still taste like heaven and hugs will still be free. Just breathe.”
So, in case you need to hear it today, here I am telling you, “It’s okay to pause.”
Quietly, yet powerfully. The way your highest and best self does it.
The second thing I really needed to hear from myself to myself today was,
“You can succeed at your own pace.”
How many times have you suffered from what I not-so-lovingly call “The Microwave Effect?”
This is the one where we collectively think our life is one big microwave and what we put in and what comes out should work just the same as the one in our kitchen.
Put in some love and Presto! 90 seconds later “The Perfect Relationship, complete with 32 awesome dates and 12 perfect outfits” comes out.
Put in some work and Shazam! 3 minutes later “The Ultimate Career is born. Promotions! No Boring Meetings, No completely misguided VP’s with crazy projects with doubtful deadlines, just Uber-successful, totally thrilling happy land”
You get the idea.
EXCEPT.
The stuff we put in the microwave *never* tastes as good as the stuff we bake in the oven.
Never.
The time and the heat bring out the best layers of flavor in the food. It’s crisper or softer or richer or smoother – whatever it needs to become, it becomes it so much better when you bake it.
So, why, oh why, my dear brilliant, beautiful reader do we want microwave results when we could have a whole Oven-Baked-Life?
I don’t know. But I know I am guilty of it.
Wanting the 90 second miracle.
Which to be honest, does happen from time to time. Except for 10 years usually lead to those 90 seconds and all the previous baking was what made those 90 seconds possible.
So today, what I needed the most was to tell myself and everyone who would listen. Hi! Hello! Yes! You!
“You can succeed – at life, your relationships, your career, your hobbies, your passions, your whatevers,
AT YOUR OWN PACE.”
And my life and your life do not need a microwave.
As I was saying, we do not need a microwave or to follow anyone else’s timing, or plan, or time line.
We can take the long road.
And detours.
And use the oven as much and as often as possible.
I needed to hear that today.
I thought you might too.
What do you most need to tell yourself today? Please share in the comments or tweet me at @modernmarried.
Do you know a Type A who needs to find another speed? Please share this post, it might be the spark of inspiration that pulls her closer to her highest and best self. Thank you!
